thursday 29 december 2005 "never interrupt ur enemy when he is makin a mistake" napoleon bonaparte (1769-1821) (no, i do not t'ink i yam napoleon) "Iraqis are a proud people," Sodamn said. "They are used to having torture that is the envy of the Middle East." dat wuznt so clever bingo brain ! 5 december 2005 oh i haddanother epiphany ! i have dem a lot as u know. here is da latest. why do we have mosquitos n other horrible insects. dis has been a scientific quandry 4quite sometime, i t'ink so. it is because plants do not have hands ! we have bugs dat pollenize n all dat 2da plants. da plants can not do dis demselves cause dey have no hands 2self pollenate. dat wuz simple, do u t'ink so ? monday 26 september 2005 oh dis is cheerful Tingo, nakkele and other wonders look at all da fun words dat everybuddy has all over da planet! n dis is a wonderful reason 2maka book : "I'm trying to celebrate the joy of foreign words" Adam Jacot de Boinod oh n dont miss da wonderful commentaries on da buddum. its wonderful 2have da planetmates sharin a conversation in a cheerful manner friday, 5 august 2005 in da news w da lil smooth gi : oh da beeeb is at it again w da eloquent headlines. how would u like 2b called da "brain dead gurl" because u r in a coma ? or da "stone throwin gurl" cause u threw one rock ? oh bdw, italy is da place 2go if u wanna join a satan soiree or indulge ur cocaine habit u need only meander down da po river, da beeeb has cheerfully informed da public. da beeeb calls mr blair's plans against terrorism, da "new terror plans". dat seems a lil bit counter-productive, do u t'ink so ? da new discoveries 2b found r of course quite surprising. who would guess dat junk food is favoured over 'healthy food' when one is seekin a comfort food. n if dat is not shocking enuf, guess wut tops da list. go head hava guess. u won't guess in a million years. click here so i dont give it away 2dose readers who hava wanderin eye durin quizzes. here is another discovery of current trends dat u w no doubt find astonishing : "people r drinkin more alcohol n consuming less fruit n vegetables, raisin fears bout public health." well da good news is dat dey have not'ing better 2fill der news space w. so dat is somet'ing 2celebrate, i t'ink so. dats all 4now. wednesday, 29 june 2005 ok, so we discussed da distorted breeding atrocities, now let us consider pet captivity in a more general viewpoint. dis does not apply 2da cats as much as 2da dogs, but dere r ppl dat have large domesticated animals dat do not have sufficient run round n stretch all 4of da legs kinda acreage 2accomodate der domesticated hostage. sometimes dey r good enuf 2bring da neurotic house pal w dem 2a city park 2let 'em run round. but dis is nottanuf time 4dem. dey needa do dat all da time. r dey nottaware dat animals like 2run round 4more den like an hour a day ? so da poor pet gets bananas bein locked up in da house or apartment n it has not'ing 2do. it cannot read a book, da tv rarely offers engaging entertainment n knitting projects r not appropriate. wut is a dog 2do ? dey look out da window, dey roam round da house or apartment in a forlorn manner, dey munch some dog stuff, dey scratch derselves on furnishings, dey practice void control. after about a day of dis, dey start gettin a lil restless. so dey bark. n dey bark. den dey bark some more. den da next t'ing u know, dey r barkin all da time. n everybuddy gets ticked off, n den da dog feels horrible n den in da frustration dog barks more. at dis point, it is not jus da dog dat is uncheerful. da neighbors r not pleased 2hear da dog barkin all time. dey r tryin 2sleep, or 2hava quiet dining experience, or read a book, or walk round da house or da apartment, n if dey wanted 2hear da dog bark, dey would have one of der own. incidently, if u r nottaware, dog barking can be heard quite clearly thru da storm prepared windows of both da dog abode n da neighbor. CLOSED. justa fyi, if u didnt know dat. here is another fyi : nobuddy on da planet will benefit nor enjoy da sound of incessant dog barking. u wont believe it, but dats da harsh reality. so if u r a considerate kinda planetmate, keep dis in mind. if u wanna hava dog, u gotta live on da farm or da ranch or da manor home estate w da rolling hills n dales n all dat stuff. u dont wanna reside in a neighborhood where dere r 48 houses within expectorating distance of each other ( apartments of course r even more densely inhabited ) ok, t'ank u 4takin time 2learn about dis social issue presented in a sincere n informative manner bi da lil smooth gi 30 may 2005 since dis is da swelterin time of da year, i yam gonna dedicate da summer months 2dose t'ings dat r irritants 2da society. da first topic under dis category applies 2da popular practice of owning domesticated n mutant mammal slaves, more commonly known as "pets". why do our planet mates delight in da ownership of cross bred planet pals dat r so far distorted from der ancestoral shape dat dey have trouble existing in a regular manner ? dis is no doubt a barbaric cruelty dat thrives on da oblivious selfishness dat exists in da clueless character prevalent in dis sector of da pet owning population. dere r animal shows 2exhibit da latest n most distorted breeding atrocities w no account of how horrible an existence dis has created 4da poor, unfortunate animal victim. animal lovers r indignant if we temporarily test new drugs, or stick 'em in confined spaces or eat 'em, but it is okay 2completely destroy not only da lives of der pet pals but all der descendants w der lil hobby of body modification. dere r dawgs dat cannot hardly walk as a result of dese barbaric breeding abominations n others dat can not hardly c outta der sad lil puppy eyes. sorry, hol' on, my eyes r tearin up * wipes a tear * ok, i yam able 2proceed. dey show off dese tormented souls dat have oftentimes evolved in2 creatures w unpleasant dispositions n vocalization volumes. dey must endure da neverending disdain of der peers n human neighbors whom cast hateful n annoyed glances n commentary in der forlorn direxion. dey respond in despair n sometimes ignorance of der unpalatible presence creating an unfortunate cycle of negativity where bi dere emerges a cesspool of criticism n crabbiness in an otherwise cheerful condition. please join me, if u would b so kind, in not encouragin dis selfish n sordid custom directed at da helpless animal victims. t'ank u 4ur time n consideration in dis important social issue plaguin da society 4a long kinda time. wednesday, 13 april 2005 i yam readin a wonderful book dat i t'ought mebbe i would share some tidbits w u. history is not as boring as it seems when one is slumped over der desk while being held captive in da educational environment as a pre adult kinda planet mate bdw. let us hava glance at my current reading selection. i yam readin "da rise n fall of da house of medici" bi da christopher hibbert boi. one of da colourful characters dat one encounters in dis tome of wisdom is da infamous savonarola. (bdw : do u know howda remember da spelling of dat ? every other vowel is "a" den "o", da rest is easy of course because dose r da consonants ). now back 2da story, da savonarola kinda boi is da fried friar dats cause eventually da firenze finally gets tired of his antics which rate high on da annoyance meter. he wants da good people of da florentine republic 2have der children march round in lil angel suit kinda get ups n perform da charmin duties of da secret police/gestapo or wutever heinous term is been applied 2dese servants of da tyranny. dey r also 2nag der elders bi waggin der fingers n shamin 'em in2 performin righteous kinda deeds rather den partyin it up as dey r accustomed 2do doin. also on his 2do list is : toss out all da fun stuff in ur house; lotsa fastin festivals; kill all da gize he does not like. of course we know dat bois like dis r prone 2da hypocritical behaviours n often get demselves embroiled in a conundrum. so dis is wut happened one fine spring day. our lil fried friar kinda pal is claimin dat he hadda special relationship w da Gr8 Boi in da sky and derefore he could ignore da pope who wanted him 2cut out da nonsense. instead he felt 'compelled bi a ragin fire within da very marrow of his bones' : "I feel myself all burning, all inflamed with the spirit of the Lord. Oh, spirit within! You rose the waves of the sea, as the wind does. You stir the tempest as you pass. I can do no other." ok, wuteveeer. so dis is wut happens. da franciscan n da dominican friar bois get into a lil disagreement bout da degree of divine inspiration dat da fried friar really possessed. a franciscan monk challenges da fried friar, dat he should prove himself w a trial bi fire. da fried friar wuz not so pleased 2b fried, n oddly enuf he would b in da end anyway. he didnt predict dat one ! ( <- ok, wuz dat a lil mean of me ? ) ok, on w da story : not only did da clever franciscan monk make dis suggetion, but he offered 2walk in da fire w da fried friar. i guess it is no newsflash dat savonarola wuz not so exhilirated bi dis concept, n wormed his way out of it in his habitual (dat wuz kinda good pun, do u t'ink so ? ) bi sayin he wuz reserved 4higher work, but magnanimously agreed 2allow his good pal 2go in his place. da authorities in da florence republic were a lil nervous bout dis enterprise, sayin it wuz not a proper pastime, another one suggested dey do da walk on water alternative. but da general consensus established dat da masses were already wayzebullient bout dis trial bi fire kinda entertainment n dat it could b dangerous 2disappoint 'em. so da plans progressed in da expected manner : da original franciscan challenger also worms out, sayin dat he w only walk thru w da fried friar n so one of da other franciscan kinda friars chimes in n offers his services 2replace 'im. ( notta particularly astute boi, is my guess ). da rules r : if da dominican replacement got charred, dat savonarola hadda leave. if da franciscan boi got toasted, da original challenger boi hadda. so, guess wut happened. nothin. dats right. when it all wuz supposed 2go on bout 3 weex later, dere wuzza thunderstorm n da whole t'ingaring wuz called off. da mob got ticked off n da next day dey attacked da beeeg cathedral where one of da fried friar followers wuz spewin a silly savonarola sermon . a bunch of da dominicans holed up in da San Marco monastery where dey hadda lil stash of weapons n da savonarola boi hid in da library dere. ( dats a good choice actually, cause den he could read while he is dere n get his mind off his troubles. dats wut i would do, i t'ink so. ) and troubles he had, cause he got arrested, tortured n fried. so dat my lil pals is an episode in da life of da medici saga i have not given all da fascinating facts, i leave dat 2u 2pursue at ur leisure, now dat i have inflamed ur desire 2peruse a historical kinda writing. wednesday, 30 march 2005 in da news w da lil smooth gi : da beeeb reports : "Iran opens secret nuclear plant". ... i guess its notta secret anymore. here is another kinda headin : "Oscar-winning actress Hilary Swank has been fined NZ$200 (£75) for bringing two pieces of fruit into New Zealand" if she is sucha good actress, why didnt she act innocent ? ok, i yam jus askin. another item of note: da united nations has reported dat twice as many iraqi children r suffering from da malnutrition since da war. dat of course is a horrible development. but mebbe dat is cause dere r less children under 5 bein killed n tortured bi da sodamn regime. did dey take into account da poor poohbahs in da mass graves ? oh, wait, dats not malnutrition, dats just murder. saturday 19 february 2005 i yam currently reading bout da ottoman empire. an intriguin description of da sultan kinda boi in official documents provides a loquacious litany includin da followin : "undergarment is victory" now, dis seems a lil bit odd 2me. if da contents of da undergarment were da victory, dat would make more sense. but in order 4da garment itself 2b da victory, would dat mean it would hafta b a strap-on or somet'ing like dat ? n wut need does da sultan have of a strap-on ? unless, he is a tranny kinda boi ... or is dat gurl ? n if dat is da case, is dat a lil suspect in da muslim realm ? i wuz not aware dey advocated creative creatures'in da medieval times. n here my lil pals is one more example of irresponsible literature, take note n b warned notta get 2carried away in ur poetic ruminations monday, 24 january 2005 oh noooo ! everybuddy hide der horomones n feeengers ! Bad driving 'linked to hormones' now dey can tell wut kinda sex u like 2enjoy n how if u r an efficient kinda car parking kinda driver. dey r sayin dat da gurlz w da male kinda feeengers do better at da reproduction realm. if da feeengers r wayzdifferent den da bois, dey r lesbians ! ok yam i da only one t'inkin dis is a lil ruuuude? my birthday ok here i yam testin dis out da nite b4 my official birthday kinda time ok dat loox lovely

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da archives 2 all da previous t'oughts of da lil smooth gi fall 2004 summer 2004 june to december 2003 may 2003 march & april 2003 jan & feb 2003 da rest of 2002 august 2002 july 2002 june 2002 may 2002 april 2002 march 2002 february 2002 da last time i updated: 15 march 2005 i yam da webmaster: lil smooth gi is dat funny? lilsmoothgi@hotmail.com all dese lil pages dat i make are © copyright, 2005 da lil smooth gi